Gentleman Jack (Crack)

The Background of the Videos

I haven't written much this year because OMG BEING A HUMAN IS SO RIDICULOUS. The more ludicrous it gets, the less I even care to document it. It's like someone documenting a trip to the circus or state fair. No one does because we're all so freaking flabbergasted the whole time that by the time we even think of writing it down, something else inanely flabbergasting is already sucking us in. Then, when you start to write it down you're like, "Is this really something to write down? I can't imagine anythng about this is informative or helpful? So you go have a scotch on the rocks and ponder digital watches. I have learned one thing...I, in no way, have learned anything. Especially not how to navigate being a human or dealing with other humans. Honestly. I'm just, well, befuddled all the way round.

I thought maybe delving into human history might help, as there was little of it taught by the football coach at my high school, and really I didn't see the point of even trying to understand it then. So, I've begun with ancient history, actually pre-history, and am working my way up. I skipped some boring parts, and am currently closely studying the documentation earthlings have of the 18th and 19th centuries.

As it turns out, Earth right now is not even as bizarre and fascinating as it was a hundred years ago. Of course, technologically, things are more interesting with iPhones. Still, socially, as I go back in humanity's history, I find the beginnings of many of these strange behaviors, and the indelible feeeeeelings that often prompt them. And not surprisingly, just as I began my historical study tangent, a friend of mine held me hostage and forced me to watch a television show (ew). The show is called Gentleman Jack.

Well, I owe this friend my life. Not that I value this earth life alllll that much, so let's say I owe her a box of chocolates. Anyways, it's a phenomenal show. And, it is drawn mostly from the diaries of an extremely thorough and document-y type person from Yorkshire, England, who lived in the 17-1800s, named Anne Lister. From weather to business to politics to love affairs, she wrote it alllll down. So, yes, I already liked her. I've started reading her diaries now in addition to the show, and it's amazing how true to her writings the show actually is. From the researched costumes, furniture, and even shooting it in Anne Lister's ancestral home "Shibden Hall," it's what they call here "an accurate period piece."

The other interesting thing in this show is that Anne Lister is actually gay. "She likes the ladies, if you know what I mean," says one character. Of course there was no concept of a gay woman in the 1800s, no wording for it, no real sense of it societally at all. And this woman somehow managed to forge ahead, being surprisingly "out" for that time, creating language for all of it, figuring out sex (well I guess that part comes pretty naturally), and how to broach it socially in a world that didn't like "weird." She even got married (in a sense) to her love Ann Walker. So, I bought the HBO/BBC TV series because HOLY HELL it's good and it gave me so much insight into my own life (having been born loving --and only loving--the fairer sex). Again, shout-out to the idiot who did my human body shit because as if being an alien isn't hard enough, let's make it a female, ADD, idealist, lesbian with an IQ higher than Einstein's and a low body temperature. We don't want her to seem robotic or too normal, do we? Fuuuuuuck....meeeeee.

Still, Anne Lister has given me hope because if she could manage this ridiculous existence here, maybe I can too. Anyways...I thought I'd put together some presentations for my home planet explaining the documented origins of out lesbianism on earth and the social cues associated with its lesbians today. I haven't added the Ancient Greek Sappho videos here because honestly I think maybe zero of you would care about those. I'm considering doing Xena Warrior Princess videos next because that show miraculously covers all of ancient history (and the Vikings) in a single lifetime spanning 6 seasons. Plus it has some good takes on things like that Jesus guy and Western Mythology stuff.

Apparently, when you add commentary to videos, it's called a "Crack Video" (learn something new every day). So, I am delighted to share with you my historical earth lesbian logs... introducing ...the first installment of Gentleman Jack Crack.