Travel Planning for Earth Bound Alien

1971 Itinerary: What to Expect

EarthView | Vol 1 | Issue 4367

To: Earth Bound Alien

From: Travel Planning Team | Division 3

Dear Alien,

You will be born into a female form. You will soon lose your ability to communicate without words. You will also lose your ability to sense others' energy beyond the awareness that it is simply there. You may still perceive others' energies as stronger, weaker, or sense a bit of negative intentions or positive, but that's it. You will also forget you read this memo, but we were required to assimilate it by higher authority. So...erm...sorry bout that.

You will be besieged by information from 5 senses on a non-stop basis. You will also be wrought with no less than 647 emotions at any given time. You will be required to "keep a smile on your face" regardless. 90% of your actions and words from the time you begin speaking will be met with confused stares, laughter, or total awkward silence. Your predominant feeling will be that of aloneness, because you will be. No one will "get you." Get used to this.

You will be pretty, which will cause many to like you for that reason alone. You won't be able to tell who these people are for a loooong time. This will cause you continual confusion and shallow relationships. You will be smart, which will cause many to seek out your wisdom. You will offer it, then realize a couple years later A. You were SO wrong, and B. They used you for your wisdom. You will briefly relish in the karma that at least if they used you, you messed something up with your bad advice. This will be very short-lived glory. You will become co-dependent because you won't have any sense of what your true worth is. You will glean that you are worth-less because when you do show your true self to someone, they will run for the hills. This will continue to happen. FYI: They will also run for the hills when you pretend to be someone you are not. Good luck with that.

Sometime around middle school you will realize you are attracted to other females, not so much males. You will find that this is not okay. AT ALL. You will desperately attempt to be normal by being with males. You will be miserable. You will eventually get fed up with society's prejudice about you and you will come out of that closet. Then you will be stupid about which women you are with because you really are just being with women because you finally let yourself, not because you found a worthy one. And so you will try again to avoid the attraction to females. You will be bi, and you will wax poetic about "loving the human" not the body.You probably could be with a man and love him. You will still love the female body. Deal with it.

Then you will meet someone who defies humanity. She will be pretty and kind and secretly one who bucks the system. She will have eyes that make you remember home. And she will be married. To a man. Then you will feel crazy because you know she's in love with you and yet she won't act on it. And then we will make you neighbors, just to make it interesting. By then you will have succumbed to society's idea of monogamous marriage and you will think she has to divorce him to be with you. You will think you can "make her happier" than he can. So you will push for that. We'll give you that one. For a month. Then all Hell will break loose because living with her has to go by these societal rules you've now subscribed to (and which you suck at--and for the record, so does she). And of course, since they're not your rules, you fail miserably at them. Even your "no drinks on the new furniture" rule will fail. You will fail all the way around. So, she'll go back to him because you will not at all be whom you said you were.

At this point, you will pretty much just screw off the next year and get really sick. Your physical experience is vital to your mission, you know. And when you finally recover (because we come download some more stuff), your Dad, your hero, will have had dementia for two years. You will then deal with this by finding him a doctor. This doctor will "fix" the dementia for a while. Then, your mom will get ill. You will go back to take care of them because you need to or you will not be okay. You will spend the next four years in and out of the hospital for one of them or the other, getting about 4 hours of sleep a night on a good night, losing all but a couple of your friends one by one because they do not understand you or your choice in this situation (nothing new here), all the while starting and running two businesses (in which you will make a lot of mistakes because you have no idea what you are doing). You will also write a book about how to be happy. You will come to learn you very little to no idea.

You will be completely devastated when you have to take away your Dad's keys to his car. This will not be a one time thing. You will have to re-live this, and re-explain this to him, about 6598 more times because he forgot because he has Alzheimers. These years you will choose a woman who is stable and steady and is fine with you coming to her house to play World of Warcraft and drink wine so you can avoid dealing with your life. You won't have sex more than a few times, and when you do, it will be the same every time. It never feels like love. Then you will have a flash of attraction for someone whom it is NOT okay to be attracted to. You'll realize that your relationship isn't good if you're having hot flashes, so you try to work it out. You will at least feel safe with her until you realize she is completely fear based and has begun an ammo and food store in her basement, prepping for total economic and government collapse. You begin to realize you aren't as pretty and smart as you thought.

Your mom will die. You will be there that day, as usual, and watch her suffer, and tend to her, and she will tell you this is different this time. You will offer little consolation to her and you will finally go upstairs to bed, only to have your Dad come get you in a panic. You will then find her dead. You will have to tell your dad, who by now is in the full throws of Alzheimers, but knows she is gone. He will sob uncontrollably for days. You will have to call your sister and tell her. You will have to call your mom's older sister and tell her. You will have to arrange everything from the coroner to the funeral home to embalming to boxes to coffins to the funeral location to the burial site--none of it will have been arranged. OH and her best friend, also her estate attorney, whom she has pre-paid, will be of no help and will eventually drop the ball leaving all the estate in shambles and that will take you five or six years to finally finish. There will be almost no money left.

The day after her funeral, your dear friend since birth (and your mother's dear friend-more like family) will arrive to stay a week with you. She will push you mercilessly about taking care of your dad properly with vitamins and alternative care. You will be overwhelmed, and desperately state that you cannot deal with this today, you need a week to try to get your bearings before you launch this campaign with him. She will take offense, leave, and never speak to you again. Meanwhile only one person will be there for you fully in the oddest little ways. You won't notice this.

You will continue to take care of your dad at home with Alzheimers. You will try to keep him busy, to keep him engaged, so you will play golf and shop and smoke bbq and do anything you can think of to help him be okay. You will narrate everything because by now, he will also be mostly blind. You will have little help. Your sister will take over for dinner two or three times a week. If you wanted to see your sister, too bad. You'll have to divide to conquer. You will hire one service for in home care. That lady will make it ten times worse. You will have your long lost half-sister reappear. She will be SO nice. She will also be telling your father that you are scamming him. You won't realize this. Oh and all the while, you won't have had time to notice that your mom is gone.

One day, your dad will be up at 4 in the morning throwing things. You will go to him and try to calm him. He will tell you he wants his lawyer...that you cannot be trusted. He will look at you with more hatred than you have ever seen in all your 38 years. You will not be okay after this. He forgets everything else except his hatred for you and your scamming ways, and you still don't know what brought this on. You will manage this for 6 more months until you see that him having to be near you is a thousand times worse for him than anything else. So you will find him a nursing home. He hates nursing homes, FYI. You will find one you like. They will tell you to trick him into going. To lie to him. You will do this because they are the experts. He will hate you even more. He will then threaten to kill himself. He will be sent to mental institutions for this. They will tell you he said, "It's on you--if he kills himself it will be your fault." You will be beside yourself because you love your dad more than life itself. Too bad.

Your girlfriend will offer to go get games to get your mind off of it all. You go with her. At the store, a guy will start shooting randomly. A bullet will hit a few feet away from you. You will live, and as you leave, you'll watch the two people who bullets did not miss die. You will be in shock. You will then go back to her house for the night. The next morning, your dog that you've had 12 years will be crying in pain. She will die that day. You will not be okay. You will spend the next year or four not being okay.

You will finally break up with her. You would rather just let the collapse of society take you out, since there's nothing really to live for anyway since your sister is busy with her kids, your dad cannot see you without having to go back to the mental institution, your mom is dead, your best friend got a new girlfriend and never talked to you again, your other best friend never spoke to you again after the funeral, and you are totally alone. You move into your own rental house. It is a dump but you will be grateful for it because at least don't have to look at the chair your mom died in every day. You sell the old house to pay for your dad's care. Your attorney continues to do nothing.

You soon meet a lady who is gay and married but has never come out. She needs a "first time." You oblige. She has one goal: to be super gay. You've already tried this so it isn't fascinating to you. Your dad finally gets so ridden with dementia that you can see him again. He kind of knows you sometimes, but kind of not. His nurse is sent directly from heaven and is "you" for him when you cannot be there. You cling desperately to the gay married lady because she's all you've got. Well you will have a really nice neighbor too (not the same kind as last time, a straight, nice neighbor). You're welcome.

But you only get the neighbor for a while because the lady decides she is a threat...so you are banned from her. You comply because you are weak and basically empty inside and have no sense of integrity or moral compass anymore. The lady decides she needs to "experiment" to make sure she's gay. She is so gay she doesn't even need cargo shorts, but you agree to it. She keeps asking you to spend the night though you aren't sure she's not "experimenting" yet with this other lady. You start to then stop. Then your dad goes into hospice. They forgot to send the "no solid food" order to the psych hospital with his latest outburst, so they feed him solid food and he aspirates. You go to him.

He remembers you. You spend a week in the hospital with him, by yourself, discussing it all with doctors nurses, hospice workers, and a new nursing home that might actually remember to send paperwork. He will speak of heaven, tell you who is there, smile, and laugh with you. It will be a wonderful week for this. During this week, your "lady friend" will still be experimenting and will offer nothing in the way of support or care. You will push forward, get your dad to a nice place to die (45 minutes away), and watch him die for a month. Your lady friend will show up to see your dad, because she is giving like that. His former nurse will go see him too, and this will give you comfort.

You will go again to see him, and you will experience the most horrifying 5 minutes with him of your life, we won't go into that because it's too graphic. Then, you will leave the room, your sister will arrive, you will discuss his state, and he will die while you're out there discussing. You will go completely numb. You will again, arrange everything from the funeral to the burial. You will have little help. After the funeral, after your cousins leave, your lady friend will spend the evening with her "experiment" out at the bar and then at a hotel. You won't know this, you will only know she said she's not coming over. You will be alone and scared and without your family that night, and for the next week. Just a heads up. She will bring you rice crispy treats the next day. You won't open the door. We are taking bets on if you will eat them or burn them or smash them with a hammer. But you will take her back before too long because you will be so alone that even such a person is better than no one. You will live in total misery for the next two years until you finally break.

When you break, you will start over. You will do everything differently. You will accept that you are alone, except you will realize a couple of people have actually stuck through this all with you and don't hate you and are still neat. You will decide who you are, and you will build an inner foundation, not one based on your parents or your liking women or your career...just on you. This will be weird, but you will do it anyway. One of these people still there will be another family friend since birth. The other will be the mom of one of your students. Oh, and we'll bring back your old neighbor who was nice, too...you'll enjoy that. Now it gets good.

You are free, you can see the forest for the trees, you now can actually sense your parents near you. You have a great family: a dog, a kitten, and a parrot. You have a great little mid-century modern house with eclectic industrial design elements and a loft. All is well. Then your cat disappears. It's okay. You get him back in 4 nights. You may possibly not make it through those nights. If you do, all really will be well.

OH we forgot to mention. In 2009 you'll meet this family through answering a craigslist ad for a tutor. They're very interesting. You're very interesting. This is a good mix. You will meet their oldest son and feel more love than you could imagine feeling outside your own family. He will be your little angel, and you his. Over the years, his mother will become very important to you. This first will occur because you will be blown away by her parenting. You will not have experienced anyone who manages their children (who are so unique, and so smart, in two totally different ways) so beautifully. You will be amazed that you have met a parent who actually not only sees her children's strengths (all moms see this), but who encourages her children to BE those and live them (in the face of looking "uncool" to other moms or to other kids). She carefully empowers them, and gently facilitates ameliorating behaviors that others might not see as "socially acceptable." You will be in awe. And you will truly respect her. This will be the first person in your lifetime, besides your parents, whom you truly respect, honor, and trust. Over time, you will get to know her as a person. You will be again amazed. You will see a lot of the traits you value in her. You will value her friendship. You will laugh a lot with her...in fact every time you interact. You won't notice this. She will be there for you in many ways, from fence building to helping with your mom's funeral. She is important. You will be oblivious for the most part, although you will be grateful and express that to her.

Sometime around your 42nd birthday (yeah we threw that in there for ya, you're welcome), you will have a rush of feelings (above the thousands you usually have) when you see a person you've known for a long time. That will suck.

In the interest of exploration we wanted to make sure you got the most complete Earth experience possible around the age of 44, so we added these elements:

1. You're completely free.

2. You are happy with yourself.

3. You know what you want.

4. You have feelings for someone you know from a space of your true humanity.

5. You are truly GARBLED

6. GARBLED

7. You will have no gaydar (i.e. you will not be able to perceive who is attracted to women, esp. you, whether or not they are professing themselves as gay or straight or whatever trendy labels humans have by then).

8. You will have zero ability to discern whether you are making things up about others in your mind, whether your emotions are in need of some sort of medication, or whether any woman really is interested in you. This is nothing new. And where would the challenge be if you knew?

9. Okay you learn to access your intuition again. We felt sorry for you. You're welcome.

10-11. GARBLED

12. You will vacillate back and forth between being honest and open, enjoying the mystery and intrigue, the pure terror of allowing yourself to care, and choosing not to be open.

13. Your vision of life is not traditional and the rules are going to have to be made up, and the points won't matter. It will be very exciting. In your head. No one will know this.

14. Oh and you will be honest with yourself, be present fully, and just feel it all, even when it's uncomfortable. Good job on this. That's the kind of thing feedback we really need from you about the human experience. So, thanks.

15. And you will take your time...mainly because you want to choose, but you won't make a snap decision. Good on you.

16. We think you will, at this point, end up in a really cool relationship which defies the human condition. You will help redefine normal. We aren't even taking bets on this one. You will have learned a lot.

As your 44th year draws to a close, your courage soars as you realize...

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...oh, and enjoy!

Regards,

Your Galactic Travel Agency

Preparedness Division 3

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What's your Travel Log itinerary for the next 20 years? Who will you encounter? What lessons will you learn? What victories will you win?

#40s #alien #earth #life #universe #earthbound #senses #Birth2Twenties #30s #Now