Memoirs: Touching the Fire Within

Do we have to touch the fire to know it's hot?

One of the questions that comes up a lot with humans is whether one has to touch the fire once to know it’s hot. Do we need mistakes in order to learn? Is pain actually necessary on our life journey, and how do we know if we are on our Path (feels like touching fire=not on Path, feels good=on Path? Or is it feels like fire outside our comfort zone, and not when inside?) So, in light of that, I have a question for you. If you say that when you are little, you had to touch the stove or the fire to understand that it was hot, I beg to differ. I would bet that in MOST circumstances, an adult told you it was hot—and you touched it anyway. Toooo…. uhhhh… make sure? If you had listened to the authority, you would have been much better off. I am not saying that we should take everyone’s word on what they profess to be an expert on. I am saying to listen to YOUR inner voice, tap into your connection with the Divine, and feeeeel that deeply. That is where you will hear the true answer to whether you should touch the stove or not. That’s a mixture of all your stores of knowledge AND your intuition AND divine guidance. And a choice to listen. And a choice to act. We are so conditioned by society that we must “see it to believe it” or experience it personally and physically to fully understand it. Now with things that touch our soul, I would agree. For example the state of reaching bliss in meditation. You cannot possibly have that explained to you. It is a feeling, a sense, and a state of being. You’ll have to experience that to fully “get it.” But with general ideas, with situations, and especially with things that elicit negativity and propagate negative energy, we do not have to walk through the fire. We can just listen to the Voice Within—the Voice of Knowing—the Voice of the Universe—the Voice of God. We can begin intending to learn the easy way, in fact even the joyous way. So why don’t we? Well, either we are lazy (it takes a second and a bit of energy to center and focus and just BE so we can hear our Truth) or we are so in the habit of just moving forward without thinking that we don’t even give ourselves the option of learning the easy way. We are also usually in a hurry. Human society has become one of expedience and convenience…and I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “Great things take time.” The irony of that is, it would literally only take a few extra minutes at first to start giving ourselves the time we need to center and allow ourselves to learn without having to touch the fire. Once we got in the habit of learning this new way, we’d probably end up saving tons of time in rework, workarounds, and days in the hospital in the burn unit. But no matter why we insist on learning things the "hard" way, the fact is, we usually do. So how in the heck do we stop creating all that pain for ourselves? Two of my dear, dear friends insist that transitions are painful and take a long time. That makes me sad because for them, their transitions will always be painful and lengthy. I don’t doubt that this is true--for them, I go back to the moment the one person I ever loved looked at me and, I could tell, she was leaving me. That was the most painful moment of my life (and for the record, so was the leaving, the days, weeks, months after the leaving. I can’t make it not hurt as long as I am grieving. But when the grieving is over, I can choose to let that pain go and focus on the love and beauty that I felt with her, and that IS in me and in my life.

When I do this, there is only love. There is only happy. There is only forgiveness of myself and her. There is only What Is. The love stays, no matter what the circumstances are, if I let it. I don't have to bring it or futilely try to ignore it. And, the lessons stay too, if I want them! Allowing the pain (a feeling) to dissipate, and allowing the Love (an essence, a Truth) to remain doesn't mean I want to "get back together" with her! Keeping the Love & Lessons means I can move on! The "Notes to Self" about what I now know I want, what I don't want, patterns I am done with, personality traits I won't now choose in a partner, etc. Not hatred lessons or fear lessons...just, "hey, good learning there! Next time I'll avoid that and go for something more happy-fying if I can though! Now, let's ROLL!" Love and Lessons protect us, not Remembering Pain.

If I choose to continue to identify primarily with that pain, choose to be a victim of it, to become more enraptured with it than with the beauty of life, then life IS hard. And I really do not think we were put here just to suffer. But that’s another memoir. The question is: will I put more faith and trust in my pain (which is technically something that happened in the past, which I have to choose to lug into the future) or will I begin to put my faith in the Present? Will I choose to put my faith in this moment of my life, in my ability to move forward, in myself, and my ability to breathe, listen, and make wise choices? Now some of you may say, but if life was just peaceful all the time (and I mention this because this is always what bugs me about the idea of living a struggle-free, peaceful life) wouldn’t life be BORING? I like to use the term “Passionate Peacefulness.” It’s the state of being FULL. You know how it feels when you are lying on cool sand or green grass, staring up at the clouds or stars and listening to a waterfall or waves in the distance? You know how when you breathe in and all that fills you and you are one just for that moment? Is that boring? No. It would be if that’s all we ever did!! But we will eventually get up and drive/walk home. On that drive or walk, are we taking in Life 100% passionately? Is our music blaring with our favorite song while we sing loudly as we drive? Are we holding hands or touching our love sitting by us in the car? Are we watching how the the sunshine glistens and sends rays through the trees as we walk? Are we doing a little happy dance? Are we breathing deeply?

THIS is the fire of learning: How to stay ecstatic! How to let go sooner, to love ourselves more, to be open to beauty in unlikely places, how to forgive, and how to live ecstatically even in the midst of chaos or turmoil. I choose to identify with wonder, with paying attention, with living! It's burning like a baby star in here! Light it UP!!!

Let's carry this feeling throughout our days. Let's live with that fire inside…for we will never get burned by touching the fire that burns inside of us.

#advice #humanity #save #selflove #universe #30s